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When I reached middle age I started questioning everything. I questioned many of the choices I made, the people who I chose as friends, my career choice, and my personal faith. This apparently is the season of questioning  for me. I believe that doing a self inventory is VERY important as you go through life. At some point in life you want to ask yourself “Is this really working for me?” I have been going through the process of seeing what has been working and what hasn’t. Sometimes a self inventory is scary because you may find that some things and people who you really have taken a liking to simply are not adding to your life but actually taking away. This is one of the reasons that many people don’t inventory their lives. One particular area that I am in the process of inventorying is my faith. A few of the major questions that I have asked myself are: Why does God allow so much suffering? Does God bless his children in abundance in all areas? Does God really care?  I know you must be saying “How could a believer have these type of questions?” My answer is that everyone’s journey is different and does not have the same relationship with God. Our relationship with God just like with people evolves and we understand it better as we get to know not only him but ourselves. Most people that know me know that I consider myself frugal. I’ve never been into shiny things and have pretty much lived a simple life. Sometimes my approach to life leads me to procrastinate. There are some areas that you should not procrastinate in, safety is one of those areas. This brings me to the center of this story. I drive a modest 1999 Honda Civic. It’s not shiny or elaborate it just serves it purpose to get me from point A to point B. You must be saying “what does a car have to do with midlife or ones questions about God?” Car repairs are always a headache and no one likes to shell out money especially if the expenses are unplanned. When you drive an older model vehicle there are bound to be repairs, when you add in driving on the streets of Chicago that number escalates! Cars normally will give you an indication when something needs attention. Sometimes there is an indicator on the dashboard, sometimes,a rattle or a sputter all of them scream  I NEED YOUR ATTENTION! Unfortunately we don’t always pay attention to the warnings and in this case I chose not to address the matter immediately. So I hopped in my car one evening to attend a wedding on the South side ignoring the screeching and other things that were going on. Later that evening on my way home I was pulled over by a police officer. Now I almost always do the speed limit and figured did I turn wrong? Did I become distracted with my device while supposed to be watching the road? The officer asked ” Do you know what I stopped you?” I answered, “No I don’t.” He let me know that my one of my front lights was out and asked me for proof of insurance and my drivers license which I handed over. Everything was clear so I was let go without a ticket and encouraged to get it fixed. Now we know that things don’t always turn out that well when a Black man is stopped by the police so I thanked God because even though I am at this point of inventory and questioning blessings and care I was taken care of in that instance. The next day I took my car to my mechanic to replace the lights and figured I needed to fix the brakes as well even though I was ignoring the signs that they needed to be repaired. I found out that I not only needed my brakes shoes replaced but that my rotors were pretty bad and that a tie rod was on it’s last leg and that there was significant leaking in one of the brake drums in the rear as well. I thought to myself you have been driving all over putting yourself in danger because you are procrastinating and ignoring the signs. I also said to myself that God has been protecting you from unseen dangers. In closing I am still on my midlife inventory and I still have questions about multiple things BUT I am glad that even though I have questions about God he is still keeping me as I get to know him better!